Relationship advice for the rest of us…

In a world where relationships have become delicate and precarious, one could do with as much relationship advice as one can get. This post is intended to help you discover how you can nurture a relationship without feeling stressed or anxious. Any relationship that requires one to pretend to be somebody else is not worth the while, whereas a relationship that makes one want to improve oneself so that the relationship strengthens is one worth pursuing. This post will talk about the factors that are essential to keep a relationship alive.

There are key factors that go into making a relationship strong; there is no rule of the thumb that works for everyone; nevertheless, there are certain suggestions that are bound to improve any relationship:

·      Maintain honesty and transparency – it is better that somebody hates you for what you are than love you for what you are not

·      Learn to say no – oftentimes relationships wane under the pressure of things that one is forced to do to please the other person. Do what you think you are comfortable doing and say a polite and gentle yet firm no to what you don’t feel comfortable about

·      Do not nag – nagging often kills a relationship. When you do need to get across to the other person say what you have to say and repeat it once at the most

·      Keep the trust – this works both ways, you need to live up to the trust of the other person and trust the other person as well

·      Give each other space

·      Compliment and appreciate the other person

·      Keep your expectations to the bare minimum that way you will be able to appreciate

Relationships are about happiness; the above suggestions will help you retain the spark of happiness in any relationship.

When Men From Mars Attack

Most times, I do not get the thought processes of men and lately there is a man in particular who has me confused,  befuddled, and irritated as hell. 

About three weeks ago I moved in with an ex-boyfriend because my place needed some repairs.  He offered his home to me and I gladly accepted. I figured that most times, we get along and this could be a positive experiment both ways. I moved in and happily started throwing in my additional two hands to the daily chores. I cleaned, I did laundry, I grocery shopped, and, on occasion cooked. I wanted to make my being in his man cave as painless as possible for both.  Alas, even after contributing to the household in these ways, he has still found it within this solid block brain to actually ask for rent. Wait; he did not only ask me for rent, he wants $100 per night! 

To this point, it has taken a whole lot on my part to not go to war, because, after all, I still needed a place to sleep. The hits continue to roll in as last night, we went shopping last night for some general supplies and I could not believe my ears when he turned to me and said, “I am not paying for toilet tissue because you use more of it than I do.” Does he not get the fact that I have willingly jumped in with both hands and feet on deck to assist with chores and groceries? I would have willingly given him rent money as well, but, not $100 a day. Did I mention that he does not live in a penthouse suite, but a standard run of the mill tiny 2-bedroom apartment? 

Thankfully, the repairs at my place should be completed within the next week and I will be able to move out soon. How can he not see that I was so flattered that he stepped up and offered an ex-flame a place to stay that I would have given him just about anything within reason? Is $100 per day really within reason? 

Sucker Punch - Who gets the swag?

Our Banana Moments

Readers be forewarned, as the content to follow is a rant, albeit this banana’s rant.  So, Doo Funny Banana (Doo Funny) has decided to leave our particular bunch and I want to know who gets the swag.  More specifically, who gets the Cuisinart blender, microwave oven, coffee pot, air mattress, lap top computer, and the Shark Vac then Steam Mop?  These items are just a portion of the swag that I so generously loaned, gave or bought (not a gift) for Doo Funny and I want them back.  Maybe the problem is in the definition of a gift.  Do not begin to feel sorry for Doo Funny because he has gotten rather nice gifts…4 brand new Dueler Tires for his truck, Ralph Lauren Polo shirts, Burberry Cologne, numerous assortments of kitchen utensils, bathroom décor, and hundreds of dollars spend on dining out.  As you can see, from the impressive list of gifts, it is only right that he return the items that were not gifts.  Doo Funny indomitably disagrees (hence the handle of Doo Funny) with my demands.  Instead, he insists upon labeling me as petty while demanding that I never call or text him again.  This is a mighty fine conundrum! Apparently, while he was enjoying purple label treatment, I was not behaving at all out of the ordinary.  After all, he relished the fine dining and our “throw it in the bag” style of shopping. Sadly, at this point, all I can do is rant and prattle on about this situation. Doo Funny has made up his mind that he, under every circumstance, is going keep everything down to the chopsticks.  I feel bad, in advance, for the poor sap to follow him, as he will get nothing more than a roll of cheap toilet paper to wipe his little (or big) bottom.  I will be the one who changes the Charmin roll for the off-brand, guaranteed to take two layers of skin, sandpaper roll whenever he comes to visit.

May 2011 Hot Banana

 Banana's Delight

May's hot banana pic is up and awaiting your vote.  Is this guy HOT or NOT?  Fans voted April's banana as hot.  Will May's banana prove to be hotter even hotter?  Vote today! http://tiny.cc/hot_bananas

Adjustment Disorder, is it the label applied when adult bananas have tantrums for not getting their own way?

According to Mayo Clinic staff, (2009), the definition of an adjustment disorder is a type of stress-related mental illness.  Common triggers can be work problems, divorce, getting married, loss of a loved one and the list could go on.  The difference between someone experiencing the same stressors and someone with an adjustment disorder is that those with the disorder have a harder time adjusting to life changes.  People with the adjustment disorder may skip work or school, forget to pay bills, pick fights, abuse drugs or alcohol, or experience suicidal ideation.   In comparison to others who are, adapt at mobilizing effective coping techniques.  The bright side to having an adjustment disorder is that it is self -limiting with symptoms only lasting a few months.

In contrast, Mayo Clinic staff, (2010), writes that a tantrum is the expression of a child’s frustration with mental or emotional challenges of the moment.  A child’s tantrum can be characterized as kicking, supersonic screaming, flailing uncontrollably on the floor, hitting, and breath holding.  These characteristics represent a child’s lack of coping skills and such episodes tend to decrease as the child ages and gains more effective means to express his or her needs.  Similarly, adults with adjustment disorder do not have effective coping mechanisms to handle negative life changes that occur outside of their control.  Adjustment disorder suffers may require psychotherapy to explore more effective means of coping with life changes.  In addition, unlike children, adults may have destructive means of coping at their disposal and, therefore, signs of an adjustment disorder should not be taken lightly.

More importantly, if you or a loved one is suffering from signs of an adjustment disorder, please seek medical attention as the symptoms may lead to suicidal ideation.  This blog was written for entertainment purposes only and is not to be used as a diagnostic tool.

References

·         Mayo Clinic Staff, . (2009). Adjustment disorders. MayoClinic.com. Retrieved from http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/adjustment-disorders/DS00584

·         Mayo Clinic Staff, . (2010). Temper tantrums: how to keep the peace. MayoClinic.com. Retrieved from http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/tantrum/HQ01622